Rdos blog

The new Aspie social group has now been incorporated into Aspie-quiz. It basically contains the previous sexuality & relationship, activity and paranoia groups.  Several issues that previously didn’t group has also been added to Aspie social.

So what exactly is Aspie social, and how does the social environment of Aspies work?

Here is one cluster:

1. Partner obsessions
2. Unusual sexual preferences
3. Being more sexually attracted to strangers than to people one knows well
4. Being asexual
5. Having compulsive sexual behavior
6. Being in love with more than one person at the same time
7. Similar attitudes towards faithfulness as NTs

These traits seems somewhat incompatible. So, how do these traits actually go together? First, a guess of what might be included in “unusual sexual preferences” might be in order. Previous research has ruled out that unusual sexual preferences is mainly HBT (homo-, bi- and transsexuality), because these have too low relevance to be able to explain it (if they have any relevance at all). More likely unusual sexual preferences are paraphilias.

Number 1 and 7 combined seems to be typical long-term relationships. Number 2, 3 and 5 are probably “contact” behaviors, especially since they are expressed towards strangers and not towards already bonded partners. 6 seems to indicate that several partner obsessions can be present at the same time, and thus that bonding isn’t  necesarily related to monogamous practises.

Here are some other social behaviors:

1. Trouble with authority
2. Expecting others to have the same friends and enemies as oneself
3. Always wanting to be with ones partner
4. A preference to find ones own niche in life and doing things oneself
5. A preference to hyperfocus on things, and needing a lot of motivation to getting started with things
6. A preference for animals over people

These also does not seem fully consistent at a first look, but somehow it must possible to explain why these are related.

Number 1 seems to be a preference for a non-leadership, flat organizational model. This model in fact is frequently seen in computer companies, and many Aspies seem to work in such environments, and apparantly influence the choice of organization model at these companies.  Number 4,5 and 6 all indicate individualistic preferences, but how do these go together with 2 and 3? I think a good guess is that the preference is to actually be close to other people that one is bonded to, while still doing lots of things on one own. This is not as inconsistent as it might seem. This can be observed in working, long-time relationships between Aspies.

But how is asexuality from above related to all of this? Probably because as people become bonded to each others, the sexual interest declines. When the bond is developped, sex is only for reproduction. This can easily be misinterpreted as being asexual! Another thing is that asexuality has a certain relation to environmental issues, and thus can be the thing as asexuality in deprived animals in captivity.

This has some important implications for relationships:

1. Unlike in typical relationships, the lack of sex in an Aspie-Aspie relationship is a good sign, and not a bad one.
2. When Aspies are in relationships with neurotypicals, they need to consider the preference of neurotypicals that sex is what keeps the bond alive (or the neurotypical partner needs to understand that his/her partner is not disinterested in the relationship because of the lack of sexual interest).
3. Aspies needs to have their “time-alone” while still having their partner nearby.

Finally, a few other social traits:

1. Unusual eating patterns
2. Unusual sleeping patterns
3. Lesser motivation to stay clean
4. Feelings that cycle between hopelessness and high confidence
5. A highly variable activity level
6. Getting depressed during winter-time

These things seems to be related to way of life in a seasonal environment with highly variable food availability.

A final warning is in order here. Not all Aspies have these social preferences, and some instead work just like any neurotypical in this regard. However, it is important to understand that some Aspies are like this, and that people can make things easier for them by accepting their preferences if possible, or explain how people usually are so they can adapt.

A while ago I checked Tony Attwoods “Aspie criteria” in Aspie-quiz. The statements were reformulated as questions and added as experimental questions (and thus were mixed-up with ordinary questions). It was done like this so people would answer them truthfully. Attwoods statements have mixed relevance, with a few highly relevant statements, and some with absolutely no relevance.

Very good relevance (more than 0.6 in correlation to Aspie-score)

• Do you have acute sensitivity to specific sensory experiences and stimuli (e.g. hearing, touch, vision, and/or smell)?

Good relevance (between 0.45 and 0.59 in correlation)

• Do you dislike discussing a topic that may not be of primary interest?
• Do you have an strong preferece for detail over gestalt?
• Do you have an original, often unique perspective in problem solving?
• Do you have an avid perseverance in gathering and cataloguing information on a topic of interest?
• Do you have knowledge of routines and a focused desire to maintain order and accuracy?

Some relevance (between 0.3 and 0.44 in correlation)

• Do you speak your mind irrespective of social context or adherence to personal beliefs?
• Do you seek an audience or friends capable of enthusiasm for unique interests and topics?
• Are you primarily interested in significant contributions to conversation over ritualistic small talk or socially trivial statements and superficial conversation?
• Do you prefer conversation free of hidden meaning or agenda?
• Do you have an advanced use of pictorial metaphors?
• Do you have exceptional memory and/or recall of details often forgotten or disregarded by others, for example: names, dates, schedules, routines?
• Are your thoughts persistent?
• Do you have encyclopaedic or “CD ROM” knowledge of one or more topics?
• Are you values/decision making unaltered by political or financial factors?
• Are you a “social unsung hero” with trusting optimism: frequent victim of social weaknesses of others, while steadfast in the belief of the possibility of genuine friendship?

Insignificant relavance (between 0.15 and 0.29 in correlation)

• Do you show absolute loyalty and impeccable dependability in peer relationships?
• Are you determined to seek the truth?
• Do you have an advanced vocabulary and interest in words?
• Are you fascinated with word-based humor (e.g. puns)?
• Do you often take care of others outside the range of typical development?

No relevance (less than 0.15 in correlation)

• Are you free of sexist, “age-ist” or culturalist biases and regard others at “face value”?
  
• Do you have the ability to pursue personal theory or perspective despite conflicting evidence?
  
• Do you listen without continual judgement or assumption?
  
• Do you seek sincere, positive, genuine friends with an unassuming sense of humor?
  
• Are you good at individual sports and games, particularly those involving endurance or visual accuracy, including rowing, swimming, bowling, chess?
  
• Have you attended university after high school?

Most of the statements are related to Aspie talent, which is expected.